Vomingtines Die (its German)

One time, when I was about 8 years old, a boy in my class wanted to make me his special Valentine.
His father got in touch with my parents, got my home address, and proceeded (i'm guessing) to assist his son in choosing me a card etc. Along came Feb 14th. I was so excited, I held in my hands a mysterious red envelope with an interesting bulge to it. I remember realising who it was from and making an ugly "Hurumph". And then my further dismay when I realised the bulge was strawberry Hubba Bubba bubble gum.

Today we are led to believe that it is some kind of ultimate honour to recieve a material token of affection from that special someone.
It doesnt work like that for me... (Write me a song)

Being the ice-queen that I am, it will come as no suprise that my actions at school that particular Feb 14th were perhaps not the kindest that they could have been.
My eight year old self strutted up to the poor boy and said
"Strawberry? Ugh. Next time, make it grape"

I have atleast managed to melt my heart abit, and as such find the memories of that day v v cringeworthy.

Meanwhile, I am dreading the 'Extra Cheese' Ryan Adams special 7-track Valentines Day digital only release. Sweet Jesus that man will be the death of me. Not only has he stopped drinking and smoking hes now releasing songs called "Hey there, Mrs Lovely". Fuck off bro.
Don't get me wrong, music is my language of choice. I adore it. It comes first.
But please... Lovestruck not Lovesick.

Anyway St Valentine isn't even a saint. So its all abit of bullshit really. And this year it will be so epically shit for Rihanna could we not have had the decency to cancel the day altogether? What is wrong with the world?

xx T

P.S I'm so sorry, I did end up eating the bubble gum. It was very nice, thankyou.